Creativity has always been an anchor as I travel toward self-discovery and grounding my resilience. Creating art while balancing educational, professional, and personal endeavors fuels my existence, whether through the admiration of art, photography, painting, filming, or poetry. I can see parts of my story in Ginny Campbell's article, where she states that her struggles and educational experiences led to her artistic expression, enabling her to explore her passion for the arts (Campbell, G., 2002). Ginny had a similar story to mine in that she faced many personal struggles and was challenged by her mother when she expressed to her mother that she had a passion for the arts. Although she started her education with a focus on history, she ended up successfully completing her education in the arts. Self-knowledge through transformation and reflection led her to pursue fine arts, and she now serves her community through art therapy services for the Lupus Foundation.

Campbell uses her gifts as a tool to heal and navigate through difficult times in her life. In her artwork, she uses powerful imagery as symbols of emotions she experiences, allowing her to face her challenges and heal simultaneously. These difficult times are reflected in her paintings; for example, she describes her painting of herself and her estranged husband as “two glacial outcroppings, frozen and blue divided by an impenetrable chasm.” The metaphor illustrates her emotional state, feeling “ripped in half” yet aware of the possibilities ahead. The painting process became therapeutic for her as she became more open to her canvases, fearless of not being skilled enough to portray her internal experiences accurately (Campbell, G., 2002).

Kempton argues that while mindfulness-based programs are often presented in a secular context, they draw heavily from spiritually based traditions, notably Buddhism, which has a rich history of using poetry as a means of reflection and meaning-making (Kempton, H. M., 2020). I have craved nothing more than to be one with my creator, to sink my deepest desires in the depths of my creation. By creating art through my challenging and painful evolution of self-discovery, academic delays, and mental and physical struggles, I have found purpose. I may not be where I would like to be in my career, but by staying grounded in faith and love for community, I can create poetry and spaces that make others feel safe and admired.

Examining poetry and mindfulness, the author notes that traditional Buddhist poetry often encapsulates themes of nature and change, which are essential to understanding the impermanence of life (Kempton, H. M., 2020). I admire the colors of the sky, the wind against my cheeks, and the birds that sing in the morning. The moon is a reminder to feel; the stars are a promise, a compass that leads me to my destiny. Art is all around me; it is how I can tell time and examine how I feel at that moment and place. Art allows the human mind to surrender to the unknown and to release the tension between its subconscious and conscious mind.

Poetry

“Roam” was a poem I wrote during a time of reflection and admiration for my femininity. Poetry has always been connected to my spiritual path and a way for me to sync with my emotional state of mind. Kempton emphasizes that poetry can enhance mindfulness by providing a reflexive tool that encourages more profound engagement with the present moment and fosters a sense of connection to one’s experiences (Kempton, H. M., 2020). Human connection is often displaced by chaos, ego, and fear, while the cosmos interferes from a distance and allows you to submerge yourself in your innermost parts and deepest desires. The words I use in my poems, including “Roam,” are aligned with intimacy and revelation, using metaphors that connect to our subconscious mind and the world around us. These words in this poem dive into a balanced world, exploring the soul and allow you to dance not only in the physical realm but in a world you envision as the ethereal. The fabrics of her dress, the yin, sweetly caressing the consciousness, is a metaphor used to expose the senses hidden behind what we long to experience.

The emotions felt in this poem vibrate in a space where unconditional love, happiness, peace, freedom, and abundance are always in harmony. It is a reminder that we can experience the depths of our being through the universe's rhythms, finding our steps in fluidity with the people we meet and the encounters we share. Letting go of barriers that keep us from the unknown is a way of letting the universe lead us to our destiny. This poem speaks to the awe of the true wonder we experience when we see the universe reflected in the eyes of someone or an idea we love. This allows you to celebrate confidence, courage, and bravery without fear.

Videography

Every creative endeavor I get to share with the universe and those I share it with is a humble celebration. The short music video I created called “The Arena” was filmed in black and white at an auto repair shop, which was supposed to be a metaphor for a scary world controlled by white straight men who made all of the rules and limited a young girl’s abilities to dream and explore her natural gifts. This made me want to shoot this film in black and white because, unfortunately, some people view the world in black and white instead of viewing the world in color. I aimed to have the audience break free from bondage and toxic societal norms. It was intended to enable the audience to dive into the mind of their younger self without fear. The spiritual dimensions of mindfulness are often overlooked in secular contexts, with the term “spiritual” decreasing in usage in mindfulness research over the years (Kemton, H. 2020).

At the time, I wanted to focus on my subject and highlight her confidence, skill, and freedom of being one with herself and the space around her, no matter the dirt on the floor or the presence of brokenness. Her freedom to dance behind a mask was her connection to source and perfect imperfections. I identify as imperfect, broken, a woman, sexually fluid, culturally inclined, and all of the things that make me different. There are ethical questions about the authenticity of secular mindfulness practices, as they may inadvertently strip away the transformative potential inherent in the spiritual aspects of mindfulness (Kempton, H., 2020). I wanted this to be relatable to an audience that doesn’t fear living a life of adventure, of true being, and wants to explore every bit of passion in them, no matter how many people reject them or tell them they are not good enough. I refuse to put out work that does not align with my beliefs or what I stand for. I believe in community, in a future where young children can dream and feel safe expressing themselves in art forms, whatever that may look like.

This video is one of the many that capture just a glimpse of that. Some are gifted enough to “see,” but for others, it is a language that cannot be understood. I don’t remember the first time I saw art, but I can relate more to saying I have felt art since I was a little girl. Dhiman highlights the paradox of seeking what we already are, suggesting that the journey of self-discovery is often overshadowed by the ego’s false separation (Dhiman Satinder, PhD., EdD., 2011). Art has a twisted way of reflecting every emotion I have ever experienced: the good, the ugly, the sad, the beautiful, the evil, pain, happiness, and all of the above, and has led me towards transformation.

Reflections on Art, Healing, and Self-Discovery

My childhood to adolescence was a mixture of double-dutch during gym, suspensions, undiagnosed ADHD, and talent shows. When I reached high school, I had to start over. I was a hermit. The only class I enjoyed was English. My English teacher was an Afro-Latina who saw all the layers of my being. Her name was Mrs. Mejia. I would write, and she would feel my emotions through my poetry. That is when it all began. Belle Hookes discusses her admiration for her teacher, “We escaped in his class; we entered the world of color, the free world of art.”

This was my connection to Mrs. Mejia, a colorful portal where nothing else mattered except what I felt while expressing my deepest emotions through poetry. “Nothing folks said changed my longing to enter the art world and be free.” This is me thirty-one years later, a dental hygiene graduate longing to feel free again. “There are times when I hunger for those days: the days when I thought of art only as the expressive creativity of a soul struggling to self-actualize.” I love people, which is why I chose healthcare. (Hooks, B. 1995.) She ended up dying so young of a sudden death from a heart condition right after my high school graduation, leaving behind her only daughter, and soon after, I lost my best friend to gun violence. These painful shifts are anchored in creativity, mindfulness, and source. What I enjoy about poetry is that it is free of gender, race, class, or specificity. I only feel alive and a sense of belonging when I write, create, and feel the Earth and all of its elements.

Dihman discusses the concept of self-discovery through Advaita Vedanta, emphasizing that the truth of our identity and the universe is ultimately one. Yet, we disassociate by self-ignorance. He argues that much of our psychological suffering is self-inflicted and can be alleviated through self-knowledge, essential for lasting fulfillment (Dhiman, Satinder, PhD., EdD. (2011). I fear living without art, poetry, compassion, love, community and creativity. My testimony is an art piece of love, pain, trauma, culture, beauty, spirituality, self-discovery, knowledge, and social justice.

Art, community, mindfulness, and connection are vital parts of one’s journey on Earth. It reminds us to pause, breathe, and see things for what they are and how we can help shape the world into a better place for all beings. This world we are living in is so fast-paced that we forget what truly matters in the midst of it all. I always look forward to creating art, building community, and serving others in every professional endeavor.

Art is fluid, the opposite of complex, and through transformative reflection, I havediscovered that my purpose is to serve my community and assist in the healing of our Earth somehow. Poetry, film, and digital storytelling are the instruments I crave and use to connect with the source, the self, and the rest of the world. When I move to the rhythm of these sounds, I feel whole and seen, even if it is my reflection in the audience. Through art, social changes occur, movement happens, and people begin to listen. My next step as a healthcare worker and creator is to expand my knowledge, never lose hope for humanity, and continue discovering myself through transformational growth, community, art, and self-reflection.